1. First thing's first. What's your name?
kelly b
2. How about your age?
14 / 37 / immortal
3. Gender?
female
4. Birthday?
july 11 (7/11 bitches)
5. Birthplace?
new jersey
6. Height?
5'5
7. Weight?
125
8. Zodiac sign?
cancer
9. Birthstone?
ruby
10. Heritage?
nice try! im not racist! (you can tell im white because i have to be really careful about the race boundary)
Personal qualitative section.
1. Eye color?
brown bc basic af
2. Hair color/style. Is it your natural hair?
light to dark pink ombre, long ass hair (not butt hair), and side swept bangs
3. Current fitness?
i dont work out if thats what is being implied?
if its the other thing i guess im average weight w killer calves, fucking sculpted by the greek gods themselves
4. Skin tone?
pale.
Romance Section.
1. What's your sexuality?
he-te-ro
2. Current relationship status?
taken
3. How many relationships have you been in? And could you give a brief description of them?
only 4 serious-ish
j: 4 months, constant jealousy, 6th grade relationship, only reason im counting it is bc he was, like, my first kiss etc
m: summer fling, he cheated on me, he completely ignored me, he was the reason i first self harmed, attempted suicide
n: he was really funny and we had a good time together, but he was really flirty and stuff, im 90% he cheated on me, a lot of emotional abuse towards me, resulted in a lot of self harm and i think one suicide attempt
c: current relationship. going pretty well, no suicide attempts, nice guy, im pretty comfortable with him, but its kinda boring idk
4. What is your favorite feature of your preferred gender?
hair and bod
5. Are you a virgin?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
6. How often do you go on dates with your partner? (If you currently have one).
not a lot recently because he was away, but so far, 2 times a week?
7. If you aren't already, do you hope to marry the person you are with?
im a fuckign baby what is this
8. If you aren't in a relationship then do you have a crush on someone?
my dog
9. Where is your favorite spot to be kissed?
lips, neck, forehead, chest
10. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
11
Seven Deadly Sins Section.
1. Would you be considered a glutton?
i have no fuckin clue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
2. A sloth?
abso-fuckin-lutely
3. Lustful?
i can be a fuckgirl sometimes
4. Envious?
absolutely
5. Wrathful?
eh
6. Greedy?
e h
7. Prideful?
definitely not
"Naughty" Section.
1. Ever done crack?
no
2. Smoked weed?
yes
3. Done meth?
no
4. How about tried speed?
no
5. Heroine?
no
6. Shrooms?
mushrooms r fucking gross, and then theres dried up, hallucinogenic mushrooms, no thanks
7. Do you often drink?
once a week, twice tops
8. Do you watch any form of pornography?
*furiously deletes website history* shh
9. Ever stolen something?
shoplifted? yes. from a friend? yes. from a friends little sister? yes. from a friends parents? yes. from im gonna stop.
10. Ever abused or bullied someone?
yeah in fifth grade and i feel really shitty about it, but we were kinda bullying each other... it was weird
11. Ever been arrested?
w e l l
12. Ever cheated on someone?
nah
13. Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning?
no
14. Have you ever abused the use of over the counter drugs?
yes, hospitalized for three days
Education Section.
1. Are you still in school?
yes
2. If so, then what grade?
freshman
3. Your best subject in school?
ffuck uhh, journalism, real world technology, advanced debate, math ((believe it or not!!!)
4. Worst subject in school?
5. Did you drop out of school?
still going strong, and surprisingly not dead
6. If you are in college, then what is your major?
Family Section.
1. Describe your relationship with your parents.
mom: lmao fuck that alcoholic abusive controlling bitch amirite
dad: hes pretty strict but other than that its ok
2. Relationship with your siblings?
i dont see them. i never leave my room.
3. With your family in general?
incredibly shitty
4. Ever experienced the death of someone close to you?
not rlly
Life Section.
1. Do you have a lot of friends?
in real life? like 3 on a good day, online, idk 2 or 3?
2. Would you consider yourself a loner?
tell me, sherlock
3. Describe your style of clothing.
not to sound rlly dumb but pastel / pale grunge
4. Briefly describe your childhood.
parents divorce, bullying, mothers abuse, untreated depression, lonely
5. Best memory.
idk i got two guinea pigs when i was like 9
6. Worst memory.
7. Best aspect of life right now?
summer laziness
8. Worst aspect?
loneliness, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, borderline personality disorder, self harm and suicidal urges, etctetc
Religious Section.
1. Do you have a religion?
does atheism count
2. Do you believe in God or a form of intelligent design?
nope
3. Do people need to live by morals or just live to have fun?
i think a balance would be chill
4. Briefly describe your top 5 most important beliefs/moral standards
- dont fuck with me because i will roast you so hard dont think im kidding i have a list of insults piled up for every person i know and theyre all hidden in a safe labeled "dont fuck with me"
- dont shit on other peoples opinions unless its targeted against someone else, insulting someone, or if its pro league of legends
- life is supposed to be fun, so i say go around pretending youre an heir to the Norwegian throne to impress some people at a bar
- dont tell someone something abt their appearance unless they can fix it within 10 seconds
- dont you dare use the bible or quran, etc to defend your argument in matters like gay marriage sorry its unacceptable
"Life Sucks" Section:
1. Do you have any allergies?
no
2. Addictions?
does not functioning as a human being count
3. Health problems(physical)
not really
4. Permanent injuries/scars?
self harm scars on my arms, thighs, hips, and stomach, weak liver due to a tylenol overdose
Favorites Section.
1. Color?
maroon, black, all pastels, blue
2. Style of music?
alternative, folk-ish, rap, very little pop
3. Food?
im very picky tbh, it all really depends on my current cravings
4. Drink?
diet coke and ice cold water bc hell yes
anything carbonated, really
5. Outfit?
shorts and a croptop, or leggings and a sweatshirt, jeans r uncomfortable
6. Animal?
dog, cat, bunny, hamster, gerbil, mouse, hamster, ferret, basically any domestic animal
7. Plant?
cacti
8. Book?
haunted, gone girl, sharp objects
9. Movie?
ted 1 and 2, horrible bosses 1 and 2, idk i dont watch many movies
10. Song?
currently every arctic monkeys song, broadripple is burning (payte parker cover), bo burnham eff, babel mumford and sons, renegades x ambassadors, gold digger kanye west, 1985 bowling for soup
11. Album?
save rock and roll (fall out boy)
12. Band/musical artist?
bo burnham, fall out boy, mumford and sons, arctic monkeys
13. Actor/actress?
charlie day / amy poehler
14. Hobby?
making clothes (seamstress? designer? idk.) , guitar playing
15. School subject?
journalism, advanced debate
16. Sport?
long boarding?
17. TV show?
ok here we go, my past binges include: 30 rock, parks and recreation, the office, dexter, portlandia, psych, saturday night live
18. Pass-time?
netflix, spotify
19. Candy?
charleston chews, cookie dough bites
20. Pizza toppings?
Cheese, bacon
21. Dessert?
ice cream i guess?
22. Fruit?
peaches, strawberries, apples
23. Type of pie/cake?
Apple pie and carrot or red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting oops
24. Flavor of ice cream?
peanut butter chocolate
25. Weather?
preferably snowing, rainy, or cloudy, mid 60's
26. Time of day?
11 pm - 4 am
27. Word?
take a fucking guess
28. Smell?
baby golden retrievers.
29. Sound?
tbh nature sounds, cats purring (idk why), and ofc my spotify playlist rlly low when im trying to sleep
30. Vacation spot?
air conditioned hotel room
Would you rather… (please briefly explain your answers.)
1. Live in the city or country?
it honestly depends
2. Travel by plane or by boat?
speed boats are super fun, but plane rides r ok
3. Be deaf or blind?
honestly blind
4. Wear hardcore gothic clothing or dress in all pink?
f u c k
5. Stay human or be an animal? (If animal then what animal and why?)
cat because you can do whatever you want and ppl are like oh well! its a cat!
6. Be surrounded by rowdy teenage guys or preppy teenage girls?
teenage boys bc i fucking hate preppy girls, and if they get me energetic enough, im a rowdy boy at heart
7. Stay at home or go out and party?
im down with either
8. Have a pet dog or a pet cat?
idrc! theyre both great! gimmie both!!!
9. Only be allowed to eat candy or only be allowed to eat raw fruits and vegetables?
fruits and veggies hit me up
10. Play video games or exercise?
the fuck i look like
11. Read or watch TV?
does netflix count with subtitles count as both
12. Draw or paint?
draw
13. Only be able to yell to speak, or be mute?
mute bc then i can sit back and watch everyones conversations and be secretly shady as fuck and then ill collect so much dirt and ill tell really funny jokes by writing them down on a whiteboard
14. Continue this meme or go do something more interesting?
lets talk abt me
Personal Opinion Section.
1. Opinion of your appearance.
absolutely horrible self esteem problems
2. Opinion of your personality?
im annoying and rowdy and snarky tbhhh (but im funny as hell)
3. Opinion of your family.
honestly fuck them all except my dad i guess and my second cousins
4. Opinion of your friends.
i get super friend-jealous and friend-paranoid but theyre safe
5. Opinion on religion.
not my shit. find it kinda ridiculous
6. Opinion on homosexuality.
let them be and stop assuming everyone is straight until coming out otherwise
7. Opinion of school/work.
school is better than home, i got rejected @ last job
8. Opinion of modern society.
i hate 90% of the people i meet, and the 10% i like all hate me go figure
9. Opinion of today's politics.
What was the last…
1. Movie you saw?
ted 2
2. Book you read?
haunted
3. TV show you watched?
saturday night live
4. Thing you ate?
cereal
5. Thing you drank?
water, stayin hydrated bitch
6. Piece of art/literature/poetry you did?
some photography for my business
7. Person you kissed.
my boyfriend
8. Person you texted/Instant messaged/emailed?
my friend chase
9. Time you exercised?
1943
10. Dream you had?
fuck i had a really weird one that i forgot
11. Thing you favorited on deviantART?
idk it was 2 years ago
12. Animal you saw?
my golden retirever, curled up at the foot of my bed, asleep, rn, hes so gorgeous
13. Time you cried?
2day
14. Time you laughed?
yesterday
15. Time you were furious?
idk
Have you ever…
1. Punched someone?
yes
2. Kissed, or done more with, someone of the same gender?
3 ppl
3. Thrown up on someone?
does it count if i was a babby
4. Been thrown up on?
no
5. Been to a rave?
yes
6. Danced on a table?
no
7. Had a hangover?
yes
8. Flashed someone?
yes
9. Sneezed more than 3 times in a row?
what the fuck
10. Found a large(ish) amount of money on the ground?
20 damn dollar$
11. Gambled?
deal or no bitches
12. Won a bet?
no
13. Lost a bet?
no
14. Hugged a zebra?
i hugged a goat
15. Been terrified by a street mime?
no
16. Found a clown under your bed?
pfft hasnt everyone
17. Seen a ghost?
yes
18. Talked to an inanimate object?
*curses out my iron for burning my leg*
19. Yelled at an inanimate object?
^
20. Punched an inanimate object because you were mad at it?
wall, wall, door, wall
21. Been caught doing something "naughty" by your parents?
making out w a boyfriend
22. Ever sang in the rain?
yes
23. Danced in the rain?
yes
24. Eaten sugary junk food until you threw up then ate some more?
i know my limits sir
25. Managed to burn water?
im not adele
Final Section
1. Did you like this meme?
well it was a whole lot of stuff abt me so im down
2. Would you do others that are similar?
why the hell not
3. Are you glad this meme is over?
kinda, i blew off people to finish this
4. Now who are you going to choose as the meme's next victims? (Tag people if you like, not required.)
all my selfish babes, take a turn