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SpriteFizz

hell-fuckin'-o
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okok, so kelly, the former scene and brony, has decided to do a little catching up with you all

first things first: i signed up for this when i was nine, and COMPLETELY lied about my age (:

i am currently 14, and i am no longer a brony and such

i absolutely continue to post art on this account (probably)

im far funnier now, and i decided to do one of those fucking meme things so i can catch you guys up on how ive changed from 9 year old innocent, peaches and cream kelly (translation: i really want to talk about myself)
anyways, my internet friend :iconcodythehusky: had done this, so i decided to do this myself (fyi check out my friends profile bc shes super fuckin talented)

1. First thing's first. What's your name?

kelly b


2. How about your age?

14 / 37 / immortal


3. Gender?

female


4. Birthday?

july 11 (7/11 bitches)


5. Birthplace?

new jersey


6. Height?

5'5


7. Weight?

125


8. Zodiac sign?

cancer


9. Birthstone?

ruby

10. Heritage?

nice try! im not racist! (you can tell im white because i have to be really careful about the race boundary)


Personal qualitative section.


1. Eye color?

brown bc basic af


2. Hair color/style. Is it your natural hair?

light to dark pink ombre, long ass hair (not butt hair), and side swept bangs


3. Current fitness?

i dont work out if thats what is being implied?
if its the other thing i guess im average weight w killer calves, fucking sculpted by the greek gods themselves


4. Skin tone?

pale.


Romance Section.


1. What's your sexuality?

he-te-ro


2. Current relationship status?

taken

3. How many relationships have you been in? And could you give a brief description of them?

only 4 serious-ish

j: 4 months, constant jealousy, 6th grade relationship, only reason im counting it is bc he was, like, my first kiss etc

m: summer fling, he cheated on me, he completely ignored me, he was the reason i first self harmed, attempted suicide

n: he was really funny and we had a good time together, but he was really flirty and stuff, im 90% he cheated on me, a lot of emotional abuse towards me, resulted in a lot of self harm and i think one suicide attempt

c: current relationship. going pretty well, no suicide attempts, nice guy, im pretty comfortable with him, but its kinda boring idk

4. What is your favorite feature of your preferred gender?

hair and bod


5. Are you a virgin?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯


6. How often do you go on dates with your partner? (If you currently have one).

not a lot recently because he was away, but so far, 2 times a week?


7. If you aren't already, do you hope to marry the person you are with?

im a fuckign baby what is this


8. If you aren't in a relationship then do you have a crush on someone?

my dog


9. Where is your favorite spot to be kissed?

lips, neck, forehead, chest


10. How old were you when you had your first kiss?

11

 


Seven Deadly Sins Section.


1. Would you be considered a glutton?

i have no fuckin clue ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


2. A sloth?

abso-fuckin-lutely


3. Lustful?

i can be a fuckgirl sometimes


4. Envious?

absolutely


5. Wrathful?

eh


6. Greedy?

e h


7. Prideful?

definitely not



"Naughty" Section.


1. Ever done crack?

no


2. Smoked weed?

yes


3. Done meth?

no


4. How about tried speed?

no


5. Heroine?

no


6. Shrooms?

mushrooms r fucking gross, and then theres dried up, hallucinogenic mushrooms, no thanks


7. Do you often drink?

once a week, twice tops


8. Do you watch any form of pornography?

*furiously deletes website history* shh


9. Ever stolen something?

shoplifted? yes. from a friend? yes. from a friends little sister? yes. from a friends parents? yes. from im gonna stop.


10. Ever abused or bullied someone?

yeah in fifth grade and i feel really shitty about it, but we were kinda bullying each other... it was weird


11. Ever been arrested?

w e l l


12. Ever cheated on someone?

nah


13. Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning?

no


14. Have you ever abused the use of over the counter drugs?

yes, hospitalized for three days


Education Section.


1. Are you still in school?

yes


2. If so, then what grade?

freshman


3. Your best subject in school?

ffuck uhh, journalism, real world technology, advanced debate, math ((believe it or not!!!)


4. Worst subject in school?

  • FUCKIGN HISTORY FUCK HISTORY ITS OVER ITS DONE LETS MOVE ON
  • french. im bad with languages so oh fuck why did i sign up for italian

5. Did you drop out of school?

still going strong, and surprisingly not dead


6. If you are in college, then what is your major?

  • stripping.


Family Section.


1. Describe your relationship with your parents.

mom: lmao fuck that alcoholic abusive controlling bitch amirite
dad: hes pretty strict but other than that its ok


2. Relationship with your siblings?

i dont see them. i never leave my room.


3. With your family in general?

incredibly shitty


4. Ever experienced the death of someone close to you?

not rlly


Life Section.


1. Do you have a lot of friends?

in real life? like 3 on a good day, online, idk 2 or 3?


2. Would you consider yourself a loner?

tell me, sherlock


3. Describe your style of clothing.

not to sound rlly dumb but pastel / pale grunge


4. Briefly describe your childhood.

parents divorce, bullying, mothers abuse, untreated depression, lonely


5. Best memory.

idk i got two guinea pigs when i was like 9


6. Worst memory. 

  • the fucking guinea pigs died.
*see number 4 as well


7. Best aspect of life right now?

summer laziness


8. Worst aspect?

loneliness, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, borderline personality disorder, self harm and suicidal urges, etctetc



Religious Section.


1. Do you have a religion?

does atheism count


2. Do you believe in God or a form of intelligent design?

nope


3. Do people need to live by morals or just live to have fun?

i think a balance would be chill


4. Briefly describe your top 5 most important beliefs/moral standards

- dont fuck with me because i will roast you so hard dont think im kidding i have a list of insults piled up for every person i know and theyre all hidden in a safe labeled "dont fuck with me"
- dont shit on other peoples opinions unless its targeted against someone else, insulting someone, or if its pro league of legends
- life is supposed to be fun, so i say go around pretending youre an heir to the Norwegian throne to impress some people at a bar
- dont tell someone something abt their appearance unless they can fix it within 10 seconds
- dont you dare use the bible or quran, etc to defend your argument in matters like gay marriage sorry its unacceptable


"Life Sucks" Section:


1. Do you have any allergies?

no


2. Addictions?

does not functioning as a human being count


3. Health problems(physical)

not really


4. Permanent injuries/scars?

self harm scars on my arms, thighs, hips, and stomach, weak liver due to a tylenol overdose


Favorites Section.


1. Color?

maroon, black, all pastels, blue


2. Style of music?

alternative, folk-ish, rap, very little pop


3. Food?

im very picky tbh, it all really depends on my current cravings


4. Drink?

diet coke and ice cold water bc hell yes
anything carbonated, really


5. Outfit?

shorts and a croptop, or leggings and a sweatshirt, jeans r uncomfortable


6. Animal?

dog, cat, bunny, hamster, gerbil, mouse, hamster, ferret, basically any domestic animal


7. Plant?

cacti


8. Book?

haunted, gone girl, sharp objects


9. Movie?

ted 1 and 2, horrible bosses 1 and 2, idk i dont watch many movies

10. Song?

currently every arctic monkeys song, broadripple is burning (payte parker cover), bo burnham eff, babel mumford and sons, renegades x ambassadors, gold digger kanye west, 1985 bowling for soup


11. Album?

save rock and roll (fall out boy)


12. Band/musical artist?

bo burnham, fall out boy, mumford and sons, arctic monkeys


13. Actor/actress?

charlie day / amy poehler


14. Hobby?

making clothes (seamstress? designer? idk.) , guitar playing


15. School subject?

journalism, advanced debate


16. Sport?

long boarding?


17. TV show?

ok here we go, my past binges include: 30 rock, parks and recreation, the office, dexter, portlandia, psych, saturday night live


18. Pass-time?

netflix, spotify


19. Candy?

charleston chews, cookie dough bites


20. Pizza toppings?

Cheese, bacon


21. Dessert?

ice cream i guess?


22. Fruit?

peaches, strawberries, apples


23. Type of pie/cake?

Apple pie and carrot or red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting oops


24. Flavor of ice cream?

peanut butter chocolate


25. Weather?

preferably snowing, rainy, or cloudy, mid 60's


26. Time of day?

11 pm - 4 am


27. Word?

take a fucking guess


28. Smell?

baby golden retrievers.


29. Sound?

tbh nature sounds, cats purring (idk why), and ofc my spotify playlist rlly low when im trying to sleep


30. Vacation spot?

air conditioned hotel room


Would you rather… (please briefly explain your answers.)


1. Live in the city or country?

it honestly depends


2. Travel by plane or by boat?

speed boats are super fun, but plane rides r ok


3. Be deaf or blind?

honestly blind


4. Wear hardcore gothic clothing or dress in all pink?

f u c k


5. Stay human or be an animal? (If animal then what animal and why?)

cat because you can do whatever you want and ppl are like oh well! its a cat!


6. Be surrounded by rowdy teenage guys or preppy teenage girls?

teenage boys bc i fucking hate preppy girls, and if they get me energetic enough, im a rowdy boy at heart


7. Stay at home or go out and party? 

im down with either


8. Have a pet dog or a pet cat?

idrc! theyre both great! gimmie both!!!


9. Only be allowed to eat candy or only be allowed to eat raw fruits and vegetables?

fruits and veggies hit me up


10. Play video games or exercise?

the fuck i look like


11. Read or watch TV?

does netflix count with subtitles count as both


12. Draw or paint?

draw


13. Only be able to yell to speak, or be mute?

mute bc then i can sit back and watch everyones conversations and be secretly shady as fuck and then ill collect so much dirt and ill tell really funny jokes by writing them down on a whiteboard


14. Continue this meme or go do something more interesting?

lets talk abt me



Personal Opinion Section.


1. Opinion of your appearance.

absolutely horrible self esteem problems


2. Opinion of your personality?

im annoying and rowdy and snarky tbhhh (but im funny as hell)


3. Opinion of your family.

honestly fuck them all except my dad i guess and my second cousins


4. Opinion of your friends.

i get super friend-jealous and friend-paranoid but theyre safe

 

5. Opinion on religion.

not my shit. find it kinda ridiculous 


6. Opinion on homosexuality.

let them be and stop assuming everyone is straight until coming out otherwise


7. Opinion of school/work.

school is better than home, i got rejected @ last job


8. Opinion of modern society.

i hate 90% of the people i meet, and the 10% i like all hate me go figure


9. Opinion of today's politics.

  • who the fuck is letting donald trump run
  • why is he polling above 0%
  • why is there an actual post telling people not to waste their vote on the "deez nuts" candidate because people think the name is funny
  • why do americans need to be reminded this
  • there are smarter immigrants who cant vote here than the fucking americans who have the freedom to vote
  • we are wasting our freedoms of deez fucking nuts
  • i would elect a dog before almost all of the candidates
  • i actually would elect a dog
  • why are republicans still a thing
  • i know gay mariiage is legal, but how are there still people fighting against it using the bible as evidence???? wtf????
  • thats all


What was the last…


1. Movie you saw?

ted 2


2. Book you read?

haunted


3. TV show you watched?

saturday night live


4. Thing you ate?

cereal


5. Thing you drank?

water, stayin hydrated bitch


6. Piece of art/literature/poetry you did?

some photography for my business


7. Person you kissed.

my boyfriend


8. Person you texted/Instant messaged/emailed?

my friend chase


9. Time you exercised?

1943


10. Dream you had?

fuck i had a really weird one that i forgot


11. Thing you favorited on deviantART?

idk it was 2 years ago


12. Animal you saw?

my golden retirever, curled up at the foot of my bed, asleep, rn, hes so gorgeous


13. Time you cried?

2day


14. Time you laughed?

yesterday


15. Time you were furious?

idk



Have you ever…


1. Punched someone?

yes


2. Kissed, or done more with, someone of the same gender?

3 ppl


3. Thrown up on someone?

does it count if i was a babby


4. Been thrown up on?

no


5. Been to a rave?

yes


6. Danced on a table?

no


7. Had a hangover?

yes


8. Flashed someone?

yes


9. Sneezed more than 3 times in a row?

what the fuck


10. Found a large(ish) amount of money on the ground?

20 damn dollar$


11. Gambled?

deal or no bitches


12. Won a bet?

no


13. Lost a bet?

no

14. Hugged a zebra?

i hugged a goat


15. Been terrified by a street mime?

no


16. Found a clown under your bed?

pfft hasnt everyone


17. Seen a ghost?

yes


18. Talked to an inanimate object?

*curses out my iron for burning my leg*


19. Yelled at an inanimate object?

^


20. Punched an inanimate object because you were mad at it?

wall, wall, door, wall


21. Been caught doing something "naughty" by your parents?

making out w a boyfriend


22. Ever sang in the rain?

yes


23. Danced in the rain?

yes


24. Eaten sugary junk food until you threw up then ate some more?

i know my limits sir


25. Managed to burn water?

im not adele




Final Section


1. Did you like this meme?

well it was a whole lot of stuff abt me so im down


2. Would you do others that are similar?

why the hell not


3. Are you glad this meme is over?

kinda, i blew off people to finish this


4. Now who are you going to choose as the meme's next victims? (Tag people if you like, not required.)

all my selfish babes, take a turn

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dope soap on a rope // meme thing by SpriteFizz, journal